Addicted to the ’Book?

I had a friend reach out to me the other day on messenger. She was wondering why I had been so quiet on Facebook for the last few months. I thought long and hard about my reply to her before I crafted my response. Did I dare mention the drama? Did I tell her that I thought it was a huge time waster? 

Or did I tell her what really prompted me to give up social media? Did I relate my feelings. How I saw pictures friends posted and sometimes felt FOMO—fear of missing out.

How there were days I was doing something amazing, distracted deep in thought about what my Facebook post that afternoon or evening would say. 

Did I dare tell my friend that once I quit the app I went through withdrawal? That I spent a few days depressed and angry, longing to log in but forcing myself not to. That I had insomnia for almost two  weeks after “giving up Facebook up.” That I still to this day, four months later, crave being back on social media, especially when I am “bored” or looking for something to fill the time.

We have recently heard from Facebook whistleblowers who leaked company data that, if true, shows that Facebook knows just how addictive their product, Instagram, is for teenage girls. I’m here to say not only do I agree but based on my own experiences, I think the product is addictive for adults too.

I used to be a cigarette smoker. I started with Marlboro Reds when I was just 12 years old. When I quit for my 30th birthday I was smoking about a half a pack a day of Marlboro Light 100s. I quit cold turkey.

I knew I was going to quit and about six months before I was going all in I made a rule that I wouldn't smoke inside anymore. I lived in New England at the time and spent many a cold evening shivering outside just to grab a puff.

When I finally gave up the smokes for good I found driving was impossible. I needed something in my hand besides just the steering wheel. I started eating peanuts to give my hands the “fix” they needed. For nearly a year I craved cigarettes so badly it hurt. I gave up drinking just because going to a bar and seeing people smoke was unbearable. After a year my cravings started to subside, but I still smoked in my dreams and would vividly feel the experience as if it was in real life.

I’ve been an addict. I know what addiction is.

And I am certain I was addicted to Facebook. Maybe I just have that type of personality. Maybe I’m just more susceptible than most. Or maybe I’m just being honest and others are hiding their addictions. Like the doctor who hides his alcoholism, or the husband who hides his addiction to online betting.

Is Facebook the “new tobacco?” Does Mark Zuckerberg know that his product is addictive and causes harm or stress to people? Maybe. Maybe not. But I do think that social media in general, while awesome and fun in so many ways, has its darkside. It can create isolation rather than connection. It can create fear and anxiety instead of peace and contentment. It can be abused like other vices which give high highs and low lows.  

Does that mean I think it should be regulated? This is where I will end my musings, because I am in full favor of a person’s right to choose. I chose to smoke, knowing it was bad for me. But I grew up in the 1970s, not the glamorous days when smoking was safe and relaxing.  

Will we find out 50 years from now social media is in fact like nicotine? If Facebook is indeed detrimental to us, should it have a warning label like cigarette packs?  Will we hear ads asking us “If you or someone you know is addicted to Facebook please get help?”  Will there be Facebook Anonymous meetings for generations of addicts? Or will people who know the consequences of their actions still choose to “use” the “product.”

I’m glad I am off Facebook. While there are still days I think about getting “back on the wagon” I remind myself of the pain I went through to get off. The FOMO I don’t have anymore. And the real life connections I’ve worked harder on, forced to live in this  world, versus a virtual one. And then I smile. I have no posts to like, no comments to make, no newsfeed to read. I have time to meditate, stare out the window, pet my dog, read a book and just be.